Life has an uncanny habit of hitting you, when you least expect it. The problems one keeps pondering over, are miraculously solved in a dream. The airtight situation, one can’t seem to get out, suddenly pops open like a can and the pent up energy simply flows out. In fact, the deeper one delves into one’s helplessness, the more he or she feels trapped. And the moment, one accepts the noose, it begins to loosen on its own. Well, irony of life that is.

I have been under emotional duress for quite some time now. There seems to be no solution to my problems. I am walled in from all sides and can hardly breathe. But, the barriers I am so desperately fighting with, are more hypothetical than real. The more I think about it, the more precarious the situation appears to be. I am constantly arguing my case with myself and losing it most of the time. And, then as is human nature, I blame it on my destiny and pray to God that the bad times be over soon.

Yes, God, the mightiest, the mysterious, the all pervading, all knowing entity, to whom I surrender, and wish to be taken care of.

However, the going has not been smooth and has shaken my belief in Him for a while, making me wonder as to why is He not stepping in, saving me from this whirlpool. Only yesterday, while I was watching a documentary on Discovery Channel, the reason hit me with a bang.

The documentary was based in Jaipur city, reeling under drought and focused on a troop of macaques, residing in a local temple. Initially, they led a better life than the street macaques, as temple had a water pool and enough handouts were given to them by the devotees. They fared much better and were able to ward off the invasion attempt by the street ones, retaining their higher protected status.

However, as the time went by, rains refused to come, handouts decreased and water in the pool receded. The temple macaques soon transformed into the unlucky ones. They appeared malnourished, dejected, lost souls, trying to find comfort in grooming each other, in a desperate attempt to live under unfortunate circumstances.

But, their plight continued, reaching the pinnacle, when a young one died. The mother carried the dead infant for days. Gang became even more subdued, grief apparent from their faces. Another young macaque actually tried to revive the dead one, and gave out a piercing scream on finding it lifeless.

As the events unfolded, I realized that I have been watching the show intensely, wondering what would happen next, with all the curiosity of a wide eyed kid, instead of feeling any emotional connection or sadness over their pathetic state. So was the case with camera crew and documentary makers. They were also simply waiting for the nature to run its course, and filming the precarious circumstances with due diligence.

And, then it hit me hard. A new philosophy about the power of story telling/enacting of an engrossing drama.

All of us are actors, playing our roles on the World stage. In this illusory life, parallel plots run, many stories are interconnected, and characters interact and influence each other by turns. The living world is nothing but an illusion, a Maya envisioned and directed by God. He simply places us in various roles, hands out a script and then lets each one of us perform.

Once the show begins, He settles down into the role of a viewer, glued to the screen, watching anxiously as the people/characters undergo turmoil of birth, growth and death. He prefers not to interfere unless it becomes really difficult for a character to continue. Maybe his benevolent nature does come to fore, once in a while and He steps in to save him/her. But, mostly he lets the show run on its own, enjoying the happiness and sympathizing with hardships, exactly the way we smile and laugh with the lucky ones and move around on tiptoes with the sick/unlucky ones, seldom thinking about helping them.

Just like others, I am also playing a role. At times, it may be tough nut, heroic/villainous by turns or it may be a sidekick, lamenting about lesser share of limelight, but all the same, I am important. Important enough to continue living, to perform and entertain someone above. The nature would run its course, time will change and bring about a transformation in my lifestory, but all this will happen, only when destined to be. In the meanwhile, I can be nothing but patient, taking care not to lament over the lost opportunities, but to rejoice in the happier times I am bestowed with. I cannot keep expecting God to step down and meddle in the story, everytime there is a hitch. He prefers not to and I should respect His wishes.

By the way, the documentary I talked about, did end on a happy note. Guess, we are hardwired to be eternal optimists. Rains came and showered their blessings upon the thirsty macaques. Many of them tasted the bliss for the first time in their lives, and probably enough of them continued to tell the story of survival to their kids next season. Be it a documentary or the drama of life, the show must go on…

Anupama